Sarcasm defined courtesy of Merriam Webster online:
A sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.
A mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b: the use or language of sarcasm.
Okay, so Mother’s Day is finally over. (I am NOT being sarcastic!)
That is not to say, I don’t love my mother. I adore my mother more than words can say. She truly is one of my best friends. I can only go a few days without having a marathon 2- 3 hour phone call with her. She truly has been a perfect example and is always helping and gently urging me to better myself, so thank you Mom!
But, I still hate Mother’s day. My hate for it has been in the making for about 8 years. Chalk it up to a number of things including my barrenness, being handed dead flowers as a gift, and not so gentle reminder of said barrenness and being told by a mother of five with three clinging children, that “oh, your a mother”. I could go on, but I’ll save it for the book.
Anyway, I will try not to be too bitter, I have after all, been finally blessed with the desire of my heart. But Mother’s Day Sunday rolls around and it just screams PAIN to me. I think about the women who haven’t had children, I think about the ladies longing to be married, those that have lost children, and it is just awful. It throws such a sharp relief on a painful place. I can hardly make it to church, let alone listen. In fact, I rather like being out of town that weekend and stopping by, unidentified at another congregation’s meeting.
You may be wondering what the deal is with the title of this blog.
So, I will explain. Yesterday, I finally made it through the entire first meeting of church, without breaking into tears and running for my life. At the end of the meeting, they always remind everyone to stay seated, and then ask the women to stand up so that they can get a gift. Which I also do not like, it feels so fake to me, so forced, so “we have to give you a gift- even though your not REALLY a mom”.
I got my gift, which was chocolate, and very much what I like.
I sat down excited for the first time ever. I glanced at my darling husband and he smiled, knowingly, that only two months away all of our fondest dreams are coming true. Then someone walks by, stopping at our pew with a box that had been holding the gifts. This is someone I know, like, and that knows my situation. He pushes the box in front of my face, not understanding why, I laughed and said, “Do I get the box, too”
He replied “No, you need to give that gift back, it doesn’t count until the baby is born.” And smiled at his wittiness.
I was speechless.
I was shocked.
I was mortified.
I was stabbed straight to the heart.
I forced myself to smile.
He turned and walked away. I burst into tears, like now, and ran from the building. Yet again, another mother’s day destroyed. With all my hopes, with all my excitement, why would someone say something like that? Why do we intentionally poke fun at other people’s softest spots? WHY?
What ever happened to if you can’t say anything nice?
Lately I have begun to notice that we are surrounded by sarcasm, from generally nice people. But please, if you read this blog, think twice about being sarcastic.
When did it become such a crutch of human language and expression? Why can we not say uplifting things to people? Why do we have to make ourselves feel big at others expense? My mother has always said, if you say it, then you’ve thought it, which means you mean it, and it is no longer sarcastic. Especially if there is truth behind your remarks, that makes them lethal.
By using sarcasm we hurt each other’s spirits. We crush each other. And, I think we will be held accountable for that pain we cause, if we cannot learn to control our tongue, which we are told we must do. Words cannot be “taken back” They will always linger, or come out to haunt someone in times their of pain.
I for one, will try to work extra hard to say kind things.
And, I may just reserve a hotel, out of town for next years “blessed” day.