This image is the symbol of my life at the moment.

Not because I think I am trashy, no, this is the object I carry with me all over the house all day and night. I take it with me to the store (if I can make it). I take it to church. Actually those are the only places I have been in about 2 months. I carry really big purses to try and hide it, somewhat. It is usually accompanied with the dreaded saltine crackers. YUCK! I can only take one food for SO long!

I just need a moment of reflection, since this is as much of a journal as a blog, so here is my past 2 months in a nutshell.

I called my new doctor yesterday, to see if there is anything new she could recommend. And after I explained what I tried the nurse was like, there really isn’t anything else. I have tried everything…

1. Phenegran (It made me sleep 18 hours a day, I couldn’t keep my eyes open)

2. Candied Ginger – getting this down after a while almost made me throw up just on its own. Later on I tried to eat this with ginger snaps, to see if that would help, but not for long.

3. Peppermint oil on my feet and belly – technically I am still doing this, I don’t know if it is helping

4. B-6 Vitamins – I am still taking these but am not noticing any real help but I am afraid to stop because what if they are helping, and I guess they probably aren’t hurting.

5. Unisom – This in conjunction with the B-6, I take only half a pill, right before bed. My sisters-in-law ans sister told me about this. I think it helped for a week, I am not sure it is doing anything, so last night I decided not to take it to see what happens, so I guess I’ll know in a day or two if it really was helping. I just don’t like the idea of fooling with my won ability to sleep, which turned out to be awful last night!

6. Zofran – This is said to cause headaches, but seriously- I had a migraine for an entire afternoon and night ( I could hardly sleep) and it continued well into the next day. I could hardly see, or move, I would rather throw up.

7. Emetrol – this is an over the counter nausea thing. Didn’t do anything.

Right now I am brewing some Ginger Herbal tea, as it might help, we’ll see.

But the frustrating part. I am developing a fear of food. I am afraid to eat. I can’t eat much anyway, besides all the things that sound disgusting. If I wasn’t pregnant and ate this little I would have already lost 15 pounds. That is just it, I throw up more than half of what I eat everyday, and I still haven’t lost a pound. I haven’t gained a pound either… Urgh! I just wish I could go into the doctor and make sure the baby is all okay. I set up my appointment like 2 months ago and I still don’t get to go in til the 30th.

I am totally listless. I hate T.V. I have reached my limit with books, for the moment. I think I am feeling that way cuz the truth is I haven’t done anything blog worthy since like November. All these semi-glamorous meals or events we’ve blogged about were preceded and followed up by my dear porcelain friend, and I am starting to go CRAZY! (or like I admitted to my friend Dest, they are randoms that I did a month or two ago and never got around to blogging) I have never been anorexic and I have never wanted to be bulimic, and here I am with a mix of both. I hate eating food, and once I’ve eaten it, I throw it up.

But the good news… (hopefully) is that I should be just starting my 13th week so, I am hoping it ends soon, very soon, Very, very soon.

p.s. I am STILL very excited about being pregnant. I just have nothing else to blog about, this is all I have done for two months.

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Cassity Kmetzsch started Remodelaholic after graduating from Utah State University with a degree in Interior Design. Remodelaholic is the place to share her love for knocking out walls, and building everything back up again to not only add function but beauty to her home. Together with her husband Justin, they have remodeled 6 homes and are working on a seventh. She is a mother of four amazing girls. Making a house a home is her favorite hobby.

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